Dear Tourette’s…

Posted: January 10, 2011 in Tourettes
Tags: , ,

Why don’t you like my headphones today?

You usually don’t mind. I wear them practically 24/7. It’s not like they suddenly fit differently. You know, they’re just big honkin’ pads floating over my ears. Nothing to be worried about.

But today, for some reason, you’re doing everything you can to launch them from my noggin. I can’t keep my ears still inside them. I have to move the left, then the right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Usually you reserve this sort of devilish treatment for my neck and shoulders, but I guess you don’t want my ears to feel left out.

It’s not just the ears, though. Now I’m grimacing like a Muppet, my jaw feeling out of whack, all because tiny corners of the earpieces are touching my cheeks. And all that action makes my shirt feel weird and loose around my neck. You know what that means: neck dance time! And with the neck dance comes the head roll. And there go the headphones. And Bezuidenthustra appears certifiable to his coworkers.

For fuck’s sake! I can’t even enjoy this music, nevermind get any work done. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on bylaws when your body’s doing the funky chicken behind your eyes? Really fucking hard, dammit!

Restlessly yours,


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