Dear GAD…

Posted: January 28, 2011 in GAD
Tags: ,

I’m onto you!

That’s right. I’m becoming more aware of the physical signs of anxiety. I’m in tune with my body. Okay, not really in tune. More like AutoTune — there’s this sort of clumsy mechanical flatness about my awareness, but it’s there.

Like just now, I was sitting here reading an article, and I became aware that my shoulders were drawn up nearly to my neck. This, my dear GAD, is a sign of tension. The article was funny. I shouldn’t have been tense. But I was. In fact, I was so tense, I may as well have had my fists balled and a taunting pugilist dancing in front of me, thumbing his nose old Irish style.

See, back in the old days, I wouldn’t have noticed. It would’ve just built up and then I would’ve bitten the head off some unsuspecting innocent bystander. That, or I would’ve gotten a headache. Or both. Lose a head to save a head. But now, I recognize the signs of anxiety. I know that my body’s reacting like there’s a wounded polar bear in the immediate vicinity even though I’m in my bedroom. I know that this fight-or-flight reaction is your doing. I’m not really sure what sick pleasure you get out of it, but I know it’s you.

And now that I recognize the signs, I can do things to relax and prevent the spaz-outs. Or I can write blog posts about it.

Either way, I’m onto you, you creepy lurker!

Vigilantly yours,


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