Dear OCD…

Posted: February 7, 2011 in OCD
Tags: , ,

I work harder on you than on any other of these idiots in my head, yet I write you the fewest letters. Now why do you think that is?

Am I trying to avoid you? Well, that would be ironic, wouldn’t it? I mean, the whole point of a compulsion is to avoid anxiety, so if I’m avoiding you compulsively, OCD, then I’m showing a little OCD about OCD. And not only is that confusing because I wrote “OCD” so many times, but it’s also confusing because I’m currently working damn hard to get out from under your controlling thumb.

You know it’s true. I’ve been pinpointing your sly attack plans and confronting them, one by one. You should go check your booby traps, OCD. There’s a whole bunch of them that haven’t gone off. I’m not going to keep getting snared that way. I’m not your fool anymore. Next thing you know, you’re going to be the one drowning in quicksand, and I’m going to be the monkey pointing and laughing.

I’m not going to be your punching bag for much longer, you bully. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to write you any letters. You don’t deserve my letters. I’m so busy setting you up for epic fails that it doesn’t even occur to me to write you to remind you just how much you suck.

Well, let this serve as a reminder to you, OCD: YOU SUCK.

In fact, I am going to write you more letters. Insult letters. That’s right. You’re getting trash-talked, OCD. Bring the noise, bitch, because you’re about to get owned.

In conclusion, BITE ME.

So not yours,

  1. […] I’m getting ahead of the game now. I’m amassing an arsenal. This is war. Fuck you, and fuck OCD. I told you both to watch out. Well, now it’s fully […]

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