Posts Tagged ‘belts’

Dear Tourette’s…

Posted: April 14, 2011 in Tourettes
Tags: , , , , ,

What’s your beef with belts?

Let’s back up for a sec. This is a tale as old as time itself. Oh, the ridiculous things you’ve made me do to avoid tight things just below or near my navel. (And no, I’m not talking about pantyhose. Those were just for feeling sexy, okay? Let’s just keep that to ourselves.)

I’m talking, of course, about the waist position of my pants and shorts. I’m talking about those times when I was really young, when I couldn’t bring myself to pull anything below my bellybutton. If it had two pipes for my legs, it had to fit just below my ribs. I was the quintessential geriatric juvenile. I was ol’ Gramps Bezuidenthustra, only without the silly puns or dentures. Those who didn’t know better probably thought I wore suspenders. Nope. Just pulled my pants up to my chin. Nothing strange to see here, folks. Move along. Gramps needs a nap.

And then, suddenly, the switch. Smack dab in the middle of puberty, without any rhyme or reason. One day it had to be above the navel, and the next, it had to be below. (more…)