Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

Dear ADHD…

Posted: January 2, 2011 in ADHD
Tags: , ,

[This was written on December 23. I got distracted and forgot to post it. Go figure.]

I want to get this shopping list done.

I don’t want to bargain with you. That never goes well. You’re always promising me shit, then you don’t show up. Or I forget. Or you make me forget. I’m not really sure who’s doing what anymore.

So I’m not bargaining. It’s Christmas, I want to get this shopping list done, and you’re going to let me. Capisce?

I’m not going to get halfway through the list, start brainstorming new ideas based on one of the items, get on a bus lost in thought, and walk in my front door thinking, ‘Wait, what was I doing again?’ I’m not going to go to a store to buy one list item, put the list in my pocket, and forget about it because, look, this place sells hilarious shirts, I think I need a hilarious shirt, what was that shirt I saw the other time? I’m not going to meet anyone for a quick drink — “Yeah, sure, I’m in the area, I’ll be right there!” — and then forget I even had a list when I’m two beers deep. I’m not going to pick up my phone when I’m in a store to buy two things and only have one in my hand because you’ll make me walk out of there thinking I’m done with one, and you’ll even make me tell whoever’s on the line, “I think I’m done all my Christmas shopping!”

No. I’m going to make this list and then formulate a plan. And then, once that’s done, I’m going to walk out of here, and I’m going to stick to that plan, and I’m going to check everything off on that list, and only then will I let you have your fun.

But before we get to that, you’re going to let me finish writing this list down. You’re not going to make me go hunting for pens near my computer with Facebook batting its eyes at me. You’re not going to point out the stain on my shirt so I’ll feel like changing. You’re not going to suddenly remind me that I never texted my brother back and that I should do that right now. None of that. You’re going to sit here and watch me make this list before you get up to any of your shenanigans.

But first, you’re going to help me remember that great idea I had for a gift for Dad this morning. It’s your fucking fault I’ve already forgotten it in the first place.

Distractedly yours,
Bezuidenthustra