Posts Tagged ‘television’

Dear GAD…

Posted: January 7, 2011 in GAD
Tags: ,

Why can’t I breathe right now?

There’s no good reason for this. I’m not worried about anything. Nothing’s looming in my immediate future. I’m not even caught in the dark trappings of my past. Quite honestly, I’m just sitting here watching House. In fact, I’m enjoying it. I’m feeling good. I’m relaxed. At least, I thought I was relaxed.

So why is my chest playing boa constrictor on my ass right now? Why’s my throat shrinking like it’s being vacuum-sealed? I’m wound up like a jack-in-the-box. I don’t get it.

I know this is a physiological response. What I don’t know is which phantom trigger you’re responding to. It’s like some juvenile delinquent pulled a fire alarm in my subconscious. Now you’ve gone and gotten my nervous system involved. It’s a machine. It doesn’t listen to me. I’ll have to wait until this automaton finishes his routine before I can put my feet up again. This really wasn’t necessary.

You need to quit this shit. There’s nothing to panic about. Take a chill pill, okay? I’d like to finish this episode without feeling like the walls are closing in on me.

Make yourself useful and go fetch me a soda or something.

Chokingly yours,
Bezuidenthustra

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