Posts Tagged ‘TV’

Dear ADHD…

Posted: May 29, 2011 in ADHD
Tags: , , , ,

I would just like to have some peace and quiet when I’m getting to sleep. Is that too much to ask?

My friends have babies. These critters wake up at all kinds of ungodly hours wanting something: to be fed, to be changed, to be loved, and so on, and so forth. Doesn’t really matter what they want — point is, if they wake up, my friends have to wake up. Baby say, monkey do.

You see, this is one of the reasons why I don’t want babies yet. (One of many, actually, but let’s stick to the point for now.) I don’t want my sleep controlled by some out of control organism unwittingly establishing its dominance as it forces others to satisfy its powerful need for full and instant gratification just as it pleases.

In other words, ADHD, I don’t want babies for the same reason that I don’t want you around. You’re out of control. You have a powerful need for full and instant gratification. And because of all that, you keep me up at night.

Hey, at least my baby-serving friends can usually get to sleep. That’s more than I can say for myself. You know what I’m talking about, ADHD. Don’t tap your fingers and whistle innocently like that, you lying sack of lying lies. (more…)

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Dear ADHD…

Posted: April 6, 2011 in ADHD
Tags: , , , , , ,

I don’t blame you for being distracted by that big TV. I’m sorry I yelled at you, okay?

It’s not your fault. It’s your very nature to be impulsive, to interrupt my choice to focus on something else. That’s just what you do, ADHD. I know. It’s okay. Don’t pout. Here, have a cookie.

No, I actually blame the owners of this coffee shop for installing the damn thing there in the first place. What the fuck is a 50-inch HD LCD doing blasting one of those news update channels in a supposedly chill coffee shop, anyway? What is this, Tokyo? If I wanted my night to turn into a neon blur, I’d move somewhere fun. Or do drugs. Or both.

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